Disclaimers

     Disclaimer A: This is a true story. Aside from the parts that aren’t true, of which there are a few, though not as many as you would believe. The characters are all real people, though their names have been changed and the events don’t necessarily correlate to that individual in real life. That said, this is a novel, and not a memoir. Aside from the parts that are a memoir … of which there are many, though not as few as you would believe.  

     Disclaimer B: This story is about a bunch of guys being guys and shit happens to them, usually of their own design. And anyone who's ever been around a bunch of guys being guys knows for a fact that: A. Nothing gets done; B. Very little gets solved; C. Nothing makes sense until you over-analyze it years later and even then things are blurry; G. Events and conversations are often insensitive, coarse, rude, foul, jaw-dropping, and not-at-all politically correct; M. Punches are usually thrown and very few connect; Q. Alcohol is the main character, culprit, mother, lover, therapist, hero, and villain; W. None of those guys would ever trade those experiences, good or bad, for anything in the world. Not money, sex, drugs, sex, or sex. Except for sex. Any guy will trade anything for sex; and Z. We men are dumb.

      Disclaimer C: Whether you know this or not, these people are your friends, your lovers, or your family. I guarantee that you know someone like one of these characters. I guarantee that person has lived a life more interesting than all of these characters combined. I guarantee that if you didn’t know that person then, you’d hate who they were. And I can guarantee that you love that person now.

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